I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
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