where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
