I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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