new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
