He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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