Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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