I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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