i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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