I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
