woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
