I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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