Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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