Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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