shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize