C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
