I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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