BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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