I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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