who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
