so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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