just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize