her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity