Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet