I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..