Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
