I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize