hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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