If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
