After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Everyone says I win the strip club
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
