FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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