I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Send help, water and tortillas.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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