Do you still have your period?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
