I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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