thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize