omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
