Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
