I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
