You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
