I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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