So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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