Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
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I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
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I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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