Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
