I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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