nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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