Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
