Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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