we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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