i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
