wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
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I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
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I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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