her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just google imaged poop.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
