even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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