im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
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She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
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dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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