My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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