thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
