dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
