It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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