After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
