I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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