Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
