I want to have your abortion
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
