I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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